The Workplace Advantage

I’m tired as hell and it’s nowhere near my bedtime but I wanted to get this thought out.

The difference between me pre and post red-pill in my workplace is impressive to me. Take for example the two different girls I work with that are near my age.

One is blonde, single, a little overweight but cute – and I make sure to pipe up when I hear her talking about her Zumba classes so she gets the idea to keep it up. The other is brunette, married, and very attractive except for her frazzled, in a panic personality.

Me a few years ago would be the kind of guy that would do whatever it is they would ask me to do and wouldn’t engage in much conversation with them. I would probably offer to do extra things for them so that they would like me – people pleaser  that I was.

Today’s version of me interacts with them socially, flirtatiously (however cautiously per my personal rules about the workplace), and confidently. I don’t let them boss me around and use my upper hand to get what I want out of our workplace relationship.

Asking for help on something silly “nah, you can do it” or something similar to treating them like I’m teaching a child how to do something simple. It always gets a smile.

Another advantage is that the hiring manager is a surprisingly feminine woman that seems to enjoy it when I jokingly flirt with her. I’m pretty sure it was my rambling confidence that got me the job in the first place considering how overqualified I was and that I was able to negotiate the highest possible pay rate for my job description – I traded down responsibility but was able to keep my middle-manager pay from my previous position.

It’s good to see these things play out in real life. Not just in my experience in a long-term child-filled relationship with my girl but as they work with other females throughout my life.

Learn it, use it, reap the benefits.

Coffee and Cigarettes – Drink Your Coffee Like a Man

Light yourself up a cigarette, this is going to take a couple minutes:

All you men rushing yourselves in the morning just so you can leave the house early enough to stand in line for ten minutes at a coffee chain to drink 300 calories of hot chocolate coffee flavored milk (aka Cafe Mocha) on your commute into your office so you can feel good about yourself because you consider yourself a “coffee man” are full of it. If you aren’t one of these guys you certainly know at least a full handful of these suckers.

First, stop drinking sugar. If you wonder where your “two o’ clock feeling” is coming from it’s at least coming from your desert you just had for breakfast.

Don’t think you’re getting off my craplist because you order lattes or cappuccinos. That means you enjoy paying $3 for 14 ounces of hot milk with your 2oz of coffee. HOT MILK! That’s a time tested home remedy for helping one fall asleep. Don’t think the 100mg of caffeine content in espresso in your latte is going to negate that.

When it comes down to it, you look like a pussy. You blend in. You walk with the sheep.

Alright, you can put out your cigarette now.

So here’s what you need to do: develop your taste for black coffee from a French press.

First, if you are developing your day  game by hanging out at a coffee shop, how about a conversation piece? Most coffee shops, major chains included, will serve you coffee in a French press. It’s a primal way of brewing coffee – using coarse grounds and hot water steeped and plunged. It’s a sexual move to push a rod in your drink before enjoying it and you’ll be girl watching with a beaker of black goop at your table.

Most presses will brew enough coffee for two or three cups – offer a cup to the girl you’ve been chatting up  at the next table. Learn about how it works so you can ramble about why you like to drink it this way instead of hot milk in a paper cup.

Drinking it black gives you a drink that is sugar free and basically calorie free. If you must add something, go paleo and plop a little bit of heavy cream in it – any quality coffee shop, including the chains, keep heavy cream in the fridge.

How about when you are making dinner for a girl at your place? (The Chef in Jeans will help you learn more about that here)

Buy a French press to keep at home for an after dinner drink with your parfait.

You need to buy quality whole beans – I prefer most producers “espresso roast”, French roast, or Indonesian coffees; I stay away from Latin American coffees (think Colombian etc) because they have a high acidic content. Indonesian coffees (e.g. Sumatra) have a very low acid content which means no heartburn; important if you’re treating your lady to a drink and they pair well with heavier foods.

Have a coffee grinder and a water kettle. You can stick with the typical kettle you heat on the stove that whistles or find a classy stainless steel electric kettle. Stay away from anything too colorful or gimicky, those are made for girls and won’t blend in well with your pad that is surely decorated with many leather-bound books.

Grind two tablespoons of coffee for every six ounces of water. The grinds should be coarse – probably about 11 seconds in your grinder.

Put the ground in the beaker and pour your water just off boil into the beaker and give the grinds a stir.

Let it sit for four minutes.

Put the top on and slowly plunge the press down.

Pour yourself and your lady a small cup.

Offer her some nonfat milk and sweet’n’low. It’s okay, girls can put that kind of junk in their coffee if they want but drink yours black or with some heavy cream.

Ditch the hot milk man-in-socks-and-flip-flops routine and start drinking good coffee. It’ll do you well.

Teach Boys Game

A common meme within the slutwalkers is putting the entire weight of responsibility upon the man for rape. Often they are holding a sign that essentially says “Don’t tell me how to dress, teach men to not rape.” Obviously shared responsibility has been entirely lost.

This is nothing new though. When men in the media are portrayed as either bumbling idiots that can’t change a diaper or stand up to their woman, or as ravenous, violent apes unable to control their urge have sex and rape the unwilling.

Add to this a program in California (link, press release) led by US Davis have started a program in schools called “Coaching Boys into Men” which is supposed to help curb the “physical, sexual, and emotional aggression prevalent in adolescent romantic relationships” because “one in three adolescent girls experiences physical, emotional or verbal abuse by a dating partner” in the United States. It’s unclear where this one in three number comes from or what defines “verbal abuse” as it is just as likely that teasing a girl could be considered “abuse” because she just doesn’t like it.

The program has such tender intentions that I hate to come down so hard on it but it’s taking the typical blue-pill solution to a problem that may just contribute to more submissive men and perpetuates the trope that all relationship problems and the root of all violence in any relationship is with the man.

I will be coaching our boys on Game/Charisma* adjusted for their adolescent relationships. It’s what should be done in the first place. The idea that a “real man” is someone who plays puppy dog to a woman was the reality I grew up in that I won’t be passing on.

Our sons will not be violent to anyone that does not deserve it. They will not force themselves violently, sexually upon a girl after she has said “no” because he has other options – there will be no desperation on his part. It will be her loss and she will know it. Our sons will be confident enough to leave a demanding, bitchy partner because he knows that there is someone else willing to be a feminine, supportive partner elsewhere.

And just as he should be able to defend and protect himself physically with any man, he will also not hesitate to defend and protect himself physically if a woman attacks him – be it with her hands, teeth, knives, or firearm.

Coaching Boys Into Men of distinction, knowledge, game, and charisma.

How To Survive Self-Employment

I’m working on getting the long list of all the things I’m good at focused down to the few I should use as a source of income. With some significant changes coming in my personal life headed my way, I’d really like to have more sources of income than just working in an office. I think the thing that’s holding me back right now is how do I get the word out about the things I’m exceptionally good at?

I’m interested in some ideas because there are just so many voices on the internet saying “just do it and watch the money come in”.

I read Frost’s recent re-write of his Lifestyle Guide and I really enjoyed it. It’s a great quick pick-me-up and is rich on resources that I’ll be following up on.

In the meantime I’m worried about the ability to find a new job if I ever move without having to wait around for someone to hire me before the move. I want to be there now.

My action plan is to at least be more productive in something; writing, recording, putting the things I know on paper and talking about it with people.

Sexless Marriage In the Courtroom

News out of New Delhi that upholds the right to use denial of sex, or a sexless marriage as grounds for divorce.

Lucky for us Americans we have the no fault divorce; get married, get a divorce tens of hours later.

Back to the issue of a sexless marriage, I would have nothing to hold back in offering support to a married friend if he started complaining of the lack of sex in his marriage. First I would make sure he’s aware of the bigger picture that may have put him in the situation to begin with:

-a brief overview of a red-pill worldview and what a situation he’s put himself into and how to proceed from there as a person tied down to marriage.

-weight gain/sex rank loss

-loss of Alpha frame, even if it was subconscious for him to begin with, it would be important to point those personality traits out to him of what he had before he

-overuse of Beta traits to the point of turning off his wife

-possibly not actually being a very good guy to begin with

(Athol does a fine job of breaking all of these points down for more poon so I’ll leave it short)

These points get tossed around plenty on the more tamer manosphere blogs that focus more on long term relationship saving.

The thing is, I’m not sure how this would translate over into a culture that exists in India.

The article itself is a little humorous to read as it starts to acknowlege some of the absurdities about trying to figure out who is even telling the truth and how one would even rate what is an appropriate amount of sex within a marriage.

The court took cognizance of the wife’s decision to deny sex to the husband, especially on the very first night, and then not to actively participate in it, as an act of cruelty and a blow to the institution of marriage.

Imagine hearing something like this coming from a supreme court judge in the USA?

So we can officially add celibacy to the list of things destroying the institution of marriage; homosexuality and the oncoming wave of zoophiles.

Neckties For Spring

I just came across Cheap Neckties. What’s the risk in online ordering your ties?

They’ve a pretty good selection in the $10 range and just a handful in the $5 (they have a 5, 10, 15, 20 pricing structure)

Being as the season has changed we can start wearing thin silk ties instead of wool but as I have a tendency to stick to black, gray, and white, I’d like to reach out a little and embrace a more dusty pastel.

I don’t think I’ll be doing any pink this year. I can’t take back what I’ve done but I can choose to not let it happen again 😉

Time For New Clothes

Folks within fashion have been noticing men embracing more risky colors and styles in recent times.

Indeed, I’ve noticed on a micro level within those men that I know who usually just buy off the rack at Target are starting to have a desire to choose their clothes wisely.

I’ve been in the music scene most my life so it always seemed appropriate to wear jeans, Converse/Vans, and a black or favorite band t-shirt. It seems like there could be a time and place that would still work as a man nearly thirty years old but I’m sure I could do well to adopt a more suave style with more collared and v-neck shirts, higher quality jeans, and putting more thought into what I put on my feet.

A couple lady friends of mine think I need some cargo shorts that go below the knee. I’m thinking not so much since I’m no Wiz Khalifa. My pale complexion would agree with me.

I get a lot of inspiration reading Masculine Style. I need to save up my change and get some new threads.

Moving In Before Marriage

A new report from the CDC about marriage doesn’t change much for the numbers of those getting divorced but it does notice that those cohabitating before marriage aren’t as likely to split up as the numbers used to suggest.

In my youth it was pounded pretty hard into me with all of the True-Love-Waits material thrown at a teen in the 90’s that I was to be nice, don’t act interested in sex because it’s offensive to girls, and never move in with a girl before you’re married. I suppose this was all because Jesus said so somewhere but it still stayed as a negative in my mind even as I moved away from my family and one day ended up with a female housemate.

I didn’t think anything of it; she was cool and had a cool house but there were those from my past who I later found out were raising their eyebrows at the thought of good little me living in a house with a girl that I was not married to.

She wasn’t even my girlfriend so I don’t get what the real problem was.

It’s interesting to me that more couples seem to be living together rather than getting married – that is to say they are getting married, just at an older age – as they seem to be coupling together around the same age that a generation before would have except there’s not the same incentive to marry.

Both probably have some sort of job and perhaps an animal they share or someone accidentally got pregnant and now they’re going to try out living together to see if they want to later marry to “make an honest woman” out of her.

With the cultural acceptance of cohabitating I often, very often wonder why anyone gets married anymore other than pressure from the woman to have her fairytale day, culturally irrelevant religious pressure, or the feeling of familiarity. I suppose there are some tax benefits but I’ve never truly ever heard it argued from that point. It’s always “we’re in love and that’s what you do.”

Gentlemen, fall in love, YES, it’s wonderful and exciting but keep your mind in tact. Keep her around and lovely and beautiful as long as you can but don’t let her dictate the relationship by pressuring you into marriage so she can let herself go physically – which is going to happen, science and whatnot.

Here’s some other interesting things from the report

Asian women were the most likely to be in a first marriage that lasted at least 20 years. Nearly 70 percent of Asian women were still in their first marriage, compared to 54 percent of white women, 53 percent of Hispanic women and 37 percent of black women

What causes this? Is it cultural? I actually don’t know enough to know where to start but some believable ideas would be fun to hear.

Among men, 62 percent of Hispanics were still in their first marriage at 20 years, compared to 54 percent of whites and 53 percent of blacks. The study did not have statistics for Asian men.

Hispanics have a leg up in the marriage longevity. Is this due to the general lower sexual appeal of the Hispanic woman in popular culture? Perhaps the trend over the past few decades of the Mexican Muffin Top phenomenon; they don’t have the physical ability to trade up?

Feminist Friend

The fun thing about my “feminist” friend is that I’ve known her since she was 16 so I’ve seen her go from typical teen girl to typical college feminist. There was really no surprise. She ditched her faith (typical pastor’s kid) and picked up the title “gay rights activist” which means she gets drunk and parties with fabulous people during gay pride month.

The thing is whenever her issues come up in conversations, she quickly concedes to the points I make. I’m not even doing anything grand other than agreeing with some of the simpler points and then teasingly showing why the rest of what she’s saying is ridiculous.

Luckily these issues don’t really come up often in real life interaction as I would be bored as hell if all anyone ever talked about with me was “issues”.  Messing with her on Facebook is where the real gold happens because I can slip in reasonable points in the midst of her college friends commiserating with her in her comments about how crazy and backwards the world is against women. These comments coming from middle-upper class women who aren’t even paying for their schooling. Life is so hard.

What I find interesting is the rise in attention I get from her when I do engage in these conversations with her. Since I don’t just sit there and nod my head and pick at her illogical base for her arguments, it doesn’t make her hate me; it makes her like me more. Wife thinks it’s funny that she has this latent crush on me, but how could I blame her?

Lifting Child Weights

My oldest child weighs about 40lbs and my younger about 30lbs. I’m working on finding some cheap weights to use but in the meantime a good way to play with the kids to wear them out before bed is to use them for bench presses.

We just did about sixty presses alternating between the two kids.

I’m no buff guy but I’d certainly like to gain some muscle over the next year.

If anything the kids got to have fun and I got a wonky workout.