Moving In Before Marriage

A new report from the CDC about marriage doesn’t change much for the numbers of those getting divorced but it does notice that those cohabitating before marriage aren’t as likely to split up as the numbers used to suggest.

In my youth it was pounded pretty hard into me with all of the True-Love-Waits material thrown at a teen in the 90’s that I was to be nice, don’t act interested in sex because it’s offensive to girls, and never move in with a girl before you’re married. I suppose this was all because Jesus said so somewhere but it still stayed as a negative in my mind even as I moved away from my family and one day ended up with a female housemate.

I didn’t think anything of it; she was cool and had a cool house but there were those from my past who I later found out were raising their eyebrows at the thought of good little me living in a house with a girl that I was not married to.

She wasn’t even my girlfriend so I don’t get what the real problem was.

It’s interesting to me that more couples seem to be living together rather than getting married – that is to say they are getting married, just at an older age – as they seem to be coupling together around the same age that a generation before would have except there’s not the same incentive to marry.

Both probably have some sort of job and perhaps an animal they share or someone accidentally got pregnant and now they’re going to try out living together to see if they want to later marry to “make an honest woman” out of her.

With the cultural acceptance of cohabitating I often, very often wonder why anyone gets married anymore other than pressure from the woman to have her fairytale day, culturally irrelevant religious pressure, or the feeling of familiarity. I suppose there are some tax benefits but I’ve never truly ever heard it argued from that point. It’s always “we’re in love and that’s what you do.”

Gentlemen, fall in love, YES, it’s wonderful and exciting but keep your mind in tact. Keep her around and lovely and beautiful as long as you can but don’t let her dictate the relationship by pressuring you into marriage so she can let herself go physically – which is going to happen, science and whatnot.

Here’s some other interesting things from the report

Asian women were the most likely to be in a first marriage that lasted at least 20 years. Nearly 70 percent of Asian women were still in their first marriage, compared to 54 percent of white women, 53 percent of Hispanic women and 37 percent of black women

What causes this? Is it cultural? I actually don’t know enough to know where to start but some believable ideas would be fun to hear.

Among men, 62 percent of Hispanics were still in their first marriage at 20 years, compared to 54 percent of whites and 53 percent of blacks. The study did not have statistics for Asian men.

Hispanics have a leg up in the marriage longevity. Is this due to the general lower sexual appeal of the Hispanic woman in popular culture? Perhaps the trend over the past few decades of the Mexican Muffin Top phenomenon; they don’t have the physical ability to trade up?

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