Mind Frame: It Should Be About You First

“I’m going to fuck you with or without your permission.”

If you’re doing it right, saying that phrase to your girl will get a giggle out of her. She might even play along as the part of the unwilling.

Sometimes she’ll giggle but then still play the part of the ragdoll because she’s not as horny as you but she knows that it’s good for both of you to have sex.

I am, of course, talking about LTR situations here. I have kids and an LTR with my girl so I’m not speaking from the perspective of the girl you’re talking to at a party or a club. That may very well work there too but just to make it clear because I’m going to mention issues that come up in the LTR/marriage in this post.

I’m of the opinion that guys need to stop worrying so much about “how do I make her cum” and “why doesn’t she ever initiate sex”. For one, you shouldn’t have any problem initiating sex – it’s your biological prerogative. Get with that. Second, if she doesn’t know how to cum, she’s not going to trust you to teach her; she needs to learn herself.

Hopefully she has a healthy masturbatory habit because, unlike with guys who masturbate so much it drains their desire to even approach girls, the more your girl knows herself, the better she’ll be with telling you how to make her feel good in bed. So let’s stop worrying about it. Get yours. Ravage that body, change positions, make noises, and don’t let go until you’re done.

And don’t apologize for an impromptu quickie – sometimes your going to have a short session. There’s always next time.

I’m mentioning all of this, perhaps as a letter to myself. These were things that bothered me years ago when I lacked confidence and wouldn’t enjoy sex because I was worried about her experience while we banged. I would ask her afterwards if she even liked it. I would wonder if she was annoyed that I wanted to have sex. I won’t get into that mind frame anymore. If I’m confident from the get go (barring health issues or the appropriateness of it in the first place) and go for it, we’re going to bang. This is how it should have been years ago.

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4 thoughts on “Mind Frame: It Should Be About You First

  1. Agreed completely on not worrying about her initiating, just do it! I’ll have to try that line “..with our without your permission”. I’ve pushed through the playful to semi-serious shit-test “No, [Insert excuse]” before with some success. That line is cocky-funny in the right context. Good stuff!

    • The thing about LTR/marriage, especially with kids and all that the family dynamic brings, you really have to warm her up much earlier than you would a girl you just met and the sparks are flying. I said the line nearly 24 hours before we got down and kept a similar frame until the kids finally went to sleep.

      • “…you really have to warm her up much earlier than you would a girl you just met and the sparks are flying.”

        Can this be because of the decrease of libido women go through after child bearing? It seems that your married man game is excellent, but it takes longer for it to really register and really get her juices flowing than the girl one would meet at the bar.

        Does this make sense or am I talking out of my ass here?

      • I think you’ve got something there. When one operates a daily lifestyle within a family unit, there’s not much downtime to start thinking sexy thoughts; you pretty much have to push it early and slowly so that there’s low resistance when the evening comes. The girl at the bar is already looking for attention and escalation.

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