How To Manage Erectile Dysfunction

What a prick

There is going to come a day when you are with a girl and your penis won’t work. You need to know what to do when that happens.

As a man who is used to being around girls (See: Alpha) you know that you have no reason to be embarassed about anything. You’re so comfortable with yourself that you would recognize this otherwise soul crushing encounter as no big deal. And that’s what it is; no big deal. There’s going to be another time.

Apologizing, talking sheepishly, and lowering your head is going to do nothing for you. It will all but guarantee that she now has the sexual upper hand. Biologically, you may have just shown that you aren’t fit to mate and your reaction to it reaffirms this. Don’t apologize.

If you’ve got a good thing going with your significant other/wife (LTR and Married “game”), then you’ve been comfortably having sex with someone you’re close with. These moments should be even easier to brush over. If, however, your wife is a bitch, you’ll need to keep your frame strong and do not put up with any shit from her on it whatsoever. Same goes for your girl or attempted SNL. No girl should ever feel so comfortable as to talk shit and mock your penis. She is due for a shaming and should be treated that way.

Let’s discuss a few reasons why this may have happened:

You masturbate too much
Habitually masturbating lowers your libido, lowers testosterone, and drains you of desire (for sex and productivity in general). I won’t go into depth, this e-pamphlet linked goes into the subject much better than I.

You are too tired/stressed/drunk
It is important to be rested and healthy. You may have been able to pop a boner ten times a day at will when you were 16 but as you grow into your better years as a confident man, you need to take care of yourself and be well rested. Good sleep is also good for your testosterone. Stress will keep your mind from focusing on the sexy girl you’re about to ravish. No one gets off while thinking of their boss yelling at them or where the money for paying the bills is going to come from. Whiskey dick is probably the most common version given our tendency to drink as we get up our courage to talk to girls. You might be killing your ability to go through with your set if she’s DTF.

You are dealing with an ugly and/or fat girl
Recently I had the displeasure of encountering one of these things in real life. At an event, she thought she had the sexual prowess to get what she wanted from me. It wasn’t going to happen. Was I flirting with her? Yeah, I tend to do that to every girl but I wasn’t pressing for a sexual encounter.  Hand down my pants – no wood – she got mad. The next day she texted me to give me shit about it. “Ur cute but I think ur penis is broken”, “I’ve never had that happen before, guys are hard for me all the time”. She kept giving me shit. I had to break the simple truth to her “My wood increases inversely with a girl’s BMI” (ht @BeerAndConcrete). She didn’t take it very well. I guess no one’s ever had the guts to tell her she’s simply too fat.

Look guys, it’s possible you don’t have an attractive girl on your hand. If your wife got fat and sexless, you better be doing something to change that (like using Athol’s MAP in The Primer…this includes you making sure you are of a higher sexual rank than her so get ready to work hard on your sexiness). Maybe you like her personality. Well I can’t guarantee that’s going to get you laid but could be used for friendzoning a girl for fun and profit.

You have a health problem
Do you smoke regularly? Smoking has shown to cause impotence due to the hardening and restriction of blood vessels to your penis. Are you overweight? Extra weight can cause higher levels of estrogen and hurt your libido. Are you eating the right foods? Eat meat. It’s what your ancestors hunted and ate before they had sex with their women. Some studies have shown that eating a handful of Brazil nuts a day is good for raising testosterone too. I haven’t tried it yet.

Look up a local Urologist and/or Cardiologist, get an appointment, and have a very open discussion with the doctor. You may need to change your diet, lifestyle, and take some pills. Personally, though I’ve never tried them, I wouldn’t mind a round of Viagra or Cialis just to see what it’s like. Might be fun if you run into one of those fabled sex hungry single mother’s that want to fuck for hours at a time.

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7 thoughts on “How To Manage Erectile Dysfunction

  1. Never been unable to get it up because of a women’s weight. (But, then again, I’ve never been with a particularly big woman–just heavier.) However, I’ve used similar explanations with women before.

    Her: “I don’t get it. You’ll fuck me, but you won’t go on a date with me. Are you some kind of a womanizer?”
    Me: “As a matter of fact, yes, I AM a womanizer, and as such, there is a distinct negative correlation between your BMI and the frequency at which I will be observed in public with you.”
    Her: “The fuck does that mean?”
    Me: “…you’re fat.”

    Diggin’ the unapologetic asshole vibe here. Remind me to buy you a digital beer sometime.

    • I wish I could drink this digital beer.

      To expand: with a new girl that you haven’t known that long who has an attraction to you based on your alpha qualities, it is entirely necessary for the cocky/asshole vibe when dealing with no wood. Turning into an apologizer is too vulnerable to keep the attraction. Acting like it’s no big deal silently communicates comfort with the situation which makes her comfortable. In my experience (whether I was too drunk, tired, anxious, or stressed) I took it slow and it eventually came around. She got extended foreplay.

      If she’s a bitch about it, like fatty was – who wasn’t going to get any anyways – nuke her.

      If she’s your girl and the relationship is great you can say “well, not happening tonight. Let’s keep having fun though”…but not too beta. Just no apologies. You’ll NEVER hear her apologize for not being wet (not exactly the same, I know, but there’s that expectation of everything working).

  2. I understand that if you masturbate 3-4 times before you lay a girl, or once right before (24 hours or less) can cause this.

    When you say, masturbating too much, do you mean to porn or without porn?

    • Supposedly, using porn can give you a Pavolvian sexual response resulting in trouble getting hard for a real live lady. As far as how often, the idea is that if you’re having sex often enough, you won’t even have the desire to masturbate – you’ll have the desire to pursue an evening with your girlfriend/go out to meet someone.

      I realize there are caveats to all of this. There could easily be a 40 year old, high testosterone man than slays women at night and gets himself off to porn all day long.

      • I experienced difficulty with this over spring break in March when I was with my lady friend.

        While some of I am now sure has to do with her, I read a couple articles on the website yourbrainonporn.com and got worried that I may have watched too much.

        As for now I am participating in what is a called a reboot, for one month. A reboot is the website’s slang term for, not watching porn and no masturbating (or obtaining sexual release, though this is not considered mandatory). I’m almost two weeks in and soon I will have a lady friend test my Pavlovian response on Skype later.

  3. Funny I had a slight case of this last night with this girl I’ve been banging for a few weeks now. She went down on me and I started falling asleep. I woke up to her complaining she couldn’t get me hard and told her “Ehh probably too much whiskey. Try again *forcing head down* ” – Banged it out twice, once at 5am and again later in the morning.

    The problem with banging good looking girls is the average (or slightly bigger ones like this girl I just mentioned) don’t really do it for you as easy anymore. Nutting becomes much harder too… so I can relate.

    You are right in that the point is to act like it’s not a big deal because it’s not. It only becomes a big deal if you make it into one, that’s why you barely acknowledge it or shrug it off.

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