Maybe I’m confused or I’m missing the boat on something but there seems to be a divide on the usefulness of the Christian church and it’s affect on society whether positive or negative. I seem to hear those who have a more agnostic stance and then those who seem to believe it’s best to at least have the church because it keeps society running better than those evil atheist communist third-world countries.
I grew up in an evangelical Christian church. I was taught that true love waits until marriage for sex and that it was my sacrifice of worship to attend church every Sunday.
Seriously, that it was my part of worship by it being a pain in the ass to go to church on Sunday.
I hated church.
I enjoyed the social aspect in Sunday school, on Wednesday nights, pool parties, and generally having something to do because I didn’t know any better but I hated sitting bored as hell for two hours on Sunday.
After moving out of the house and several states away to persue a rockstar lifestyle (which never really happened because I didn’t know game) I started attending an Anglican church and fell in love with the communion service; the ritual, the bread, and the wine. At the time I believed it all to be true and felt more connected spiritually to do something that seemed so different than the feel good pop rock church I grew up in.
Then I stopped going to church about two years ago because I couldn’t take what seemed to be a deliberate stance by the church to ignore the reality of life. There weren’t any real answers to any real problems. Easily today I see that the reason is because of the feminist-ization of the church over the past few decades. Even the very patriarchal churches that some of my extended family attends (see CREC and some PCA churches; they tend to frown on any female leadership and focus on head-of-household church structure) ignore the problems that feminism has brought into the church.
I don’t know that I actually believe all of the magical stuff that hardcore Christians believe. It seems to stupid to take it at 100% and be so proud to be so blindly led.
But I miss the communion service.
I want find somewhere I can dip in for a short service, have the bread and the wine and the old hymns, and maybe dispense some red-pill worldviews among the faithful. I don’t want to talk about how wonderful God is and how powerful prayer is listen to the endless stream of women complaining about being a housewife under the veil of it being a holy struggle. They’re all rationalizing. I’m done with that.
God may be dead but perhaps I’m needed back in the pews to help the open the eyes of the soft pudgy men that don’t realize they are feeling the same way I felt.