I Got a Girl

I loved this song when I first heard it way back when in the 90’s. Especially the part about vacuuming in the nude. Sounded like the perfect girl. If you listen to the lyrics, she seems to start shit and I can’t remember if he’s putting up with it or doing something about it.

Something else that got to me was after spending three minutes describing how cool she is “I got a girl blah blah blah blah” he ends the song with “and she’s got a guy”.

Is he twisting the whole song and pointing out that his girl is already taken? Or perhaps it’s all a fantasy? Or he’s the “guy”?

(The lead singer went on to start the hippy cult inspired mega band The Polyphonic Spree who writes cheesy anthems about love and shit)

on another note, I, my main girl, and our kids all moved to Austin, TX. We’re living a more “traditional” lifestyle as we settle in and look for work and school for the kids. I’m too broke to go out so I don’t expect much debauchery to come from my online dating adventures or picking up girls and whatnot. Perhaps I can hit up some local manosphere characters for a beer along the way.

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The Girl I Think I Want and the Girl I Get

There’s been a constant struggle within me since I started noticing and talking to girls years ago. My eyes are charmed by the quirky, layered clothes, jeans, Converse, cool looking girl that drinks beer, listens to the same music I do or can recommend new music that I’d like, perhaps she rides a bike, colors her hair.

The “hipster” girl.

She shows her value in shallow things and uses them as eye candy to distract from her flaws. A purse shaped like a turtle with “random” pin-buttons on them. Bangs cut flat just above her eyes.

I’ve been drawn to them since I started playing in bands in the 90’s. They were also my friends but as I didn’t know how to play the game and dance the dance that leads to sex with these girls, I was put in the friendzone rather quickly and it’s painfully obvious that I put myself there.

The problem with these girls, at least 15 years later, is that they seem to have common personality flaws. They’re irrationally combative, sarcastic – to the point where every sentence in a conversation is sarcasm, chatting with them goes no where because they are more interested in fighting than playing. I can start conversations with these girls just fine. Approaching is no problem and for “fitting in”,  I have a middle of the road dress style that fits in with the pseudo bohemian and the clean and classy look.

Whatever, I’m losing focus.

The thing is, I don’t want to put up with these girls and their poor personalities. I’m drawn to them based on this feeling of nostalgia for my past but these girls aren’t the same breed of broads I was crushing on in the late 90s.

BUT, the girl I do well with? She would be the hipster girl’s opposite, as it were. The girl with the summer dress, layered long hair, minimal – tasteful jewelry, and feminine physique; this is the girl that I flirt with naturally and build rapport and attraction with ease. She’s the girl that enthusiastically responds to my texts and agrees to meeting up for drinks.

Hipster girl? She bullshits around with me, sends me unfunny “ironic” texts, then ignores me as I push for a meetup.

It makes it easy to walk away from a girl like that luckily. She doesn’t want a good time, no problem for me.

Rum Diary, Friday April 13th

7:38pm. Several drinks in. Everyone is at the table eating dinner – pizza – while I sit close to the balcony door , as the sounds of kids outside playing soccer sneak their way across the threshold.
The oldest is eating pepperoni.
The youngest, cheese.
They sit with their mother, my main girl, as I write.
Company will be joining us soon.
Wine, whiskey, rum and coke.
Anything goes.

Thursday Morning Huddle

So cool. So Instagrammy

“Huddle” is businesspeak invented soley to make the manager who is conducting the “huddle” feel like he’s part of the team.

He isn’t. He’s talked about when he leaves the room and mocked for his faux enthusiasm for his soul crushing job. We all know why we’re here. Meanwhile he’s acting like he’s fulfilling his life mission managing a team of office workers and we all know it’s bullshit.

It’s not surprising that there are still plenty of people who are shocked at the things that lovers say to one another behind closed doors. Some of us are happy to speak disgusting words in public but are shamed for it. The rest of us are happy to let loose our desires upon our mates. The blue pill crowd is shocked and offended though – how offensive it is to talk sexually to a woman!

In response to my post about playfully warming up your SO/Wife for sex later that night yesterday I blew the minds of some pansies on Metafilter

I’m actually a little proud that my tame version of dirty talk would be labeled as a trigger and “NSFW”. I’ve hit a new high!

Not really though. I’ve not written a word not already pushed into space for the world to read that Athol Kay and other Red-Pill anti-white knights have said regarding talking sexually to a girl. I’m breaking ground, but not ground breaking.

I’m also proud of my contribution to the internet wanting to know more about Instagram (a post that’s very popular with search terms, ha!). Bronan the Barbarian may just start sending you vintage filtered dick pics!

The Workplace Advantage

I’m tired as hell and it’s nowhere near my bedtime but I wanted to get this thought out.

The difference between me pre and post red-pill in my workplace is impressive to me. Take for example the two different girls I work with that are near my age.

One is blonde, single, a little overweight but cute – and I make sure to pipe up when I hear her talking about her Zumba classes so she gets the idea to keep it up. The other is brunette, married, and very attractive except for her frazzled, in a panic personality.

Me a few years ago would be the kind of guy that would do whatever it is they would ask me to do and wouldn’t engage in much conversation with them. I would probably offer to do extra things for them so that they would like me – people pleaser  that I was.

Today’s version of me interacts with them socially, flirtatiously (however cautiously per my personal rules about the workplace), and confidently. I don’t let them boss me around and use my upper hand to get what I want out of our workplace relationship.

Asking for help on something silly “nah, you can do it” or something similar to treating them like I’m teaching a child how to do something simple. It always gets a smile.

Another advantage is that the hiring manager is a surprisingly feminine woman that seems to enjoy it when I jokingly flirt with her. I’m pretty sure it was my rambling confidence that got me the job in the first place considering how overqualified I was and that I was able to negotiate the highest possible pay rate for my job description – I traded down responsibility but was able to keep my middle-manager pay from my previous position.

It’s good to see these things play out in real life. Not just in my experience in a long-term child-filled relationship with my girl but as they work with other females throughout my life.

Learn it, use it, reap the benefits.

Coffee and Cigarettes – Drink Your Coffee Like a Man

Light yourself up a cigarette, this is going to take a couple minutes:

All you men rushing yourselves in the morning just so you can leave the house early enough to stand in line for ten minutes at a coffee chain to drink 300 calories of hot chocolate coffee flavored milk (aka Cafe Mocha) on your commute into your office so you can feel good about yourself because you consider yourself a “coffee man” are full of it. If you aren’t one of these guys you certainly know at least a full handful of these suckers.

First, stop drinking sugar. If you wonder where your “two o’ clock feeling” is coming from it’s at least coming from your desert you just had for breakfast.

Don’t think you’re getting off my craplist because you order lattes or cappuccinos. That means you enjoy paying $3 for 14 ounces of hot milk with your 2oz of coffee. HOT MILK! That’s a time tested home remedy for helping one fall asleep. Don’t think the 100mg of caffeine content in espresso in your latte is going to negate that.

When it comes down to it, you look like a pussy. You blend in. You walk with the sheep.

Alright, you can put out your cigarette now.

So here’s what you need to do: develop your taste for black coffee from a French press.

First, if you are developing your day  game by hanging out at a coffee shop, how about a conversation piece? Most coffee shops, major chains included, will serve you coffee in a French press. It’s a primal way of brewing coffee – using coarse grounds and hot water steeped and plunged. It’s a sexual move to push a rod in your drink before enjoying it and you’ll be girl watching with a beaker of black goop at your table.

Most presses will brew enough coffee for two or three cups – offer a cup to the girl you’ve been chatting up  at the next table. Learn about how it works so you can ramble about why you like to drink it this way instead of hot milk in a paper cup.

Drinking it black gives you a drink that is sugar free and basically calorie free. If you must add something, go paleo and plop a little bit of heavy cream in it – any quality coffee shop, including the chains, keep heavy cream in the fridge.

How about when you are making dinner for a girl at your place? (The Chef in Jeans will help you learn more about that here)

Buy a French press to keep at home for an after dinner drink with your parfait.

You need to buy quality whole beans – I prefer most producers “espresso roast”, French roast, or Indonesian coffees; I stay away from Latin American coffees (think Colombian etc) because they have a high acidic content. Indonesian coffees (e.g. Sumatra) have a very low acid content which means no heartburn; important if you’re treating your lady to a drink and they pair well with heavier foods.

Have a coffee grinder and a water kettle. You can stick with the typical kettle you heat on the stove that whistles or find a classy stainless steel electric kettle. Stay away from anything too colorful or gimicky, those are made for girls and won’t blend in well with your pad that is surely decorated with many leather-bound books.

Grind two tablespoons of coffee for every six ounces of water. The grinds should be coarse – probably about 11 seconds in your grinder.

Put the ground in the beaker and pour your water just off boil into the beaker and give the grinds a stir.

Let it sit for four minutes.

Put the top on and slowly plunge the press down.

Pour yourself and your lady a small cup.

Offer her some nonfat milk and sweet’n’low. It’s okay, girls can put that kind of junk in their coffee if they want but drink yours black or with some heavy cream.

Ditch the hot milk man-in-socks-and-flip-flops routine and start drinking good coffee. It’ll do you well.

Neckties For Spring

I just came across Cheap Neckties. What’s the risk in online ordering your ties?

They’ve a pretty good selection in the $10 range and just a handful in the $5 (they have a 5, 10, 15, 20 pricing structure)

Being as the season has changed we can start wearing thin silk ties instead of wool but as I have a tendency to stick to black, gray, and white, I’d like to reach out a little and embrace a more dusty pastel.

I don’t think I’ll be doing any pink this year. I can’t take back what I’ve done but I can choose to not let it happen again 😉

Time For New Clothes

Folks within fashion have been noticing men embracing more risky colors and styles in recent times.

Indeed, I’ve noticed on a micro level within those men that I know who usually just buy off the rack at Target are starting to have a desire to choose their clothes wisely.

I’ve been in the music scene most my life so it always seemed appropriate to wear jeans, Converse/Vans, and a black or favorite band t-shirt. It seems like there could be a time and place that would still work as a man nearly thirty years old but I’m sure I could do well to adopt a more suave style with more collared and v-neck shirts, higher quality jeans, and putting more thought into what I put on my feet.

A couple lady friends of mine think I need some cargo shorts that go below the knee. I’m thinking not so much since I’m no Wiz Khalifa. My pale complexion would agree with me.

I get a lot of inspiration reading Masculine Style. I need to save up my change and get some new threads.

Feminist Friend

The fun thing about my “feminist” friend is that I’ve known her since she was 16 so I’ve seen her go from typical teen girl to typical college feminist. There was really no surprise. She ditched her faith (typical pastor’s kid) and picked up the title “gay rights activist” which means she gets drunk and parties with fabulous people during gay pride month.

The thing is whenever her issues come up in conversations, she quickly concedes to the points I make. I’m not even doing anything grand other than agreeing with some of the simpler points and then teasingly showing why the rest of what she’s saying is ridiculous.

Luckily these issues don’t really come up often in real life interaction as I would be bored as hell if all anyone ever talked about with me was “issues”.  Messing with her on Facebook is where the real gold happens because I can slip in reasonable points in the midst of her college friends commiserating with her in her comments about how crazy and backwards the world is against women. These comments coming from middle-upper class women who aren’t even paying for their schooling. Life is so hard.

What I find interesting is the rise in attention I get from her when I do engage in these conversations with her. Since I don’t just sit there and nod my head and pick at her illogical base for her arguments, it doesn’t make her hate me; it makes her like me more. Wife thinks it’s funny that she has this latent crush on me, but how could I blame her?

Lifting Child Weights

My oldest child weighs about 40lbs and my younger about 30lbs. I’m working on finding some cheap weights to use but in the meantime a good way to play with the kids to wear them out before bed is to use them for bench presses.

We just did about sixty presses alternating between the two kids.

I’m no buff guy but I’d certainly like to gain some muscle over the next year.

If anything the kids got to have fun and I got a wonky workout.