Setting Limits and Making Decisions

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An important thing for a former blue-pill man to remember as he has more girls enter his life and perhaps refelcts on his failed past relationships or marriage.

A woman will respond to a leader despite her initial protests, if any, to his decisions. And I’m not talking about being a  repressive selfish asshole. I mean, as a charismatic alpha male, doing what you want and having your girl follow you.

Two examples from my sordid lifestyle:

Last week I was out with a girl. We were having coffee and despite her every attempt to shit test me and control the evening, I wouldn’t let her. The conversations was going where I wanted it to go. I would straight up ignore a question that I didn’t want to answer and talk about something else. After we finished our drinks I took her hand and told her we were going on a walk in the neighborhood. She said she didn’t want to but she followed anyway. I pointed out some notable houses in the neighborhood that I knew some history on; famous people who have lived there etc. She was following and she knew it. She even said as much – “I’m not used to guys not pursuing me and doing what I want, this is different”. We were in my car with our pants off an hour later. Correlation, causation, I don’t give a fuck – leading is attractive.

Second. main girl and I were out this morning walking to the store to get some items we needed for lunch. On the way back we passed a decent second hand clothing store and went in to look around. I found nothing but some shoes that were too small. A long enough time had passed and I was ready to go but she was still looking, ever so slowly, at every piece of 2000 items of women’s clothing in this store. Shopping wasn’t even on the plan, just something we thought would be fun to do for a dip-in. She wasn’t wrapping it up so I had to tell her “We’re leaving in ten minutes”.

She quickly grabbed a couple items and ran to the fitting room. When she came out she was happy to have a few things that fit but realized what was going on:

“Hey, I never tell you to hurry up” (not teasing or smiling, she felt a little intimidated that I was telling her that we were leaving)
“That’s because I never waste my time on things I don’t like”
“well…”

Minutes later she was affectionate and pleasant and happy. Job done.

Let’s contrast that with a beta pleaser:

In the first story, the beta people-pleaser would have back tracked when talking to the girl while out for coffee. Following her storyline and answering every one of her questions sincerely. By the end of their drink she would have been bored with him. If he wanted to go on a walk he would have asked her if she wanted to, putting the pressure on her to decide the nights activities – not what’s going to make her excited to take her shirt off for you. She would have probably said “no thanks, I told my friend I would go swing by her place so I better go”.

In the second story, the beta people-pleaser would have waited around all god fucking damned day for her to make up her mind on something or to decide to ditch the garbage she was going to try on. Meanwhile the milk in the grocery bag would be getting warm.

Men, lead your ladies.

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How To Manage Erectile Dysfunction

What a prick

There is going to come a day when you are with a girl and your penis won’t work. You need to know what to do when that happens.

As a man who is used to being around girls (See: Alpha) you know that you have no reason to be embarassed about anything. You’re so comfortable with yourself that you would recognize this otherwise soul crushing encounter as no big deal. And that’s what it is; no big deal. There’s going to be another time.

Apologizing, talking sheepishly, and lowering your head is going to do nothing for you. It will all but guarantee that she now has the sexual upper hand. Biologically, you may have just shown that you aren’t fit to mate and your reaction to it reaffirms this. Don’t apologize.

If you’ve got a good thing going with your significant other/wife (LTR and Married “game”), then you’ve been comfortably having sex with someone you’re close with. These moments should be even easier to brush over. If, however, your wife is a bitch, you’ll need to keep your frame strong and do not put up with any shit from her on it whatsoever. Same goes for your girl or attempted SNL. No girl should ever feel so comfortable as to talk shit and mock your penis. She is due for a shaming and should be treated that way.

Let’s discuss a few reasons why this may have happened:

You masturbate too much
Habitually masturbating lowers your libido, lowers testosterone, and drains you of desire (for sex and productivity in general). I won’t go into depth, this e-pamphlet linked goes into the subject much better than I.

You are too tired/stressed/drunk
It is important to be rested and healthy. You may have been able to pop a boner ten times a day at will when you were 16 but as you grow into your better years as a confident man, you need to take care of yourself and be well rested. Good sleep is also good for your testosterone. Stress will keep your mind from focusing on the sexy girl you’re about to ravish. No one gets off while thinking of their boss yelling at them or where the money for paying the bills is going to come from. Whiskey dick is probably the most common version given our tendency to drink as we get up our courage to talk to girls. You might be killing your ability to go through with your set if she’s DTF.

You are dealing with an ugly and/or fat girl
Recently I had the displeasure of encountering one of these things in real life. At an event, she thought she had the sexual prowess to get what she wanted from me. It wasn’t going to happen. Was I flirting with her? Yeah, I tend to do that to every girl but I wasn’t pressing for a sexual encounter.  Hand down my pants – no wood – she got mad. The next day she texted me to give me shit about it. “Ur cute but I think ur penis is broken”, “I’ve never had that happen before, guys are hard for me all the time”. She kept giving me shit. I had to break the simple truth to her “My wood increases inversely with a girl’s BMI” (ht @BeerAndConcrete). She didn’t take it very well. I guess no one’s ever had the guts to tell her she’s simply too fat.

Look guys, it’s possible you don’t have an attractive girl on your hand. If your wife got fat and sexless, you better be doing something to change that (like using Athol’s MAP in The Primer…this includes you making sure you are of a higher sexual rank than her so get ready to work hard on your sexiness). Maybe you like her personality. Well I can’t guarantee that’s going to get you laid but could be used for friendzoning a girl for fun and profit.

You have a health problem
Do you smoke regularly? Smoking has shown to cause impotence due to the hardening and restriction of blood vessels to your penis. Are you overweight? Extra weight can cause higher levels of estrogen and hurt your libido. Are you eating the right foods? Eat meat. It’s what your ancestors hunted and ate before they had sex with their women. Some studies have shown that eating a handful of Brazil nuts a day is good for raising testosterone too. I haven’t tried it yet.

Look up a local Urologist and/or Cardiologist, get an appointment, and have a very open discussion with the doctor. You may need to change your diet, lifestyle, and take some pills. Personally, though I’ve never tried them, I wouldn’t mind a round of Viagra or Cialis just to see what it’s like. Might be fun if you run into one of those fabled sex hungry single mother’s that want to fuck for hours at a time.

Thursday Morning Huddle

So cool. So Instagrammy

“Huddle” is businesspeak invented soley to make the manager who is conducting the “huddle” feel like he’s part of the team.

He isn’t. He’s talked about when he leaves the room and mocked for his faux enthusiasm for his soul crushing job. We all know why we’re here. Meanwhile he’s acting like he’s fulfilling his life mission managing a team of office workers and we all know it’s bullshit.

It’s not surprising that there are still plenty of people who are shocked at the things that lovers say to one another behind closed doors. Some of us are happy to speak disgusting words in public but are shamed for it. The rest of us are happy to let loose our desires upon our mates. The blue pill crowd is shocked and offended though – how offensive it is to talk sexually to a woman!

In response to my post about playfully warming up your SO/Wife for sex later that night yesterday I blew the minds of some pansies on Metafilter

I’m actually a little proud that my tame version of dirty talk would be labeled as a trigger and “NSFW”. I’ve hit a new high!

Not really though. I’ve not written a word not already pushed into space for the world to read that Athol Kay and other Red-Pill anti-white knights have said regarding talking sexually to a girl. I’m breaking ground, but not ground breaking.

I’m also proud of my contribution to the internet wanting to know more about Instagram (a post that’s very popular with search terms, ha!). Bronan the Barbarian may just start sending you vintage filtered dick pics!

Mind Frame: It Should Be About You First

“I’m going to fuck you with or without your permission.”

If you’re doing it right, saying that phrase to your girl will get a giggle out of her. She might even play along as the part of the unwilling.

Sometimes she’ll giggle but then still play the part of the ragdoll because she’s not as horny as you but she knows that it’s good for both of you to have sex.

I am, of course, talking about LTR situations here. I have kids and an LTR with my girl so I’m not speaking from the perspective of the girl you’re talking to at a party or a club. That may very well work there too but just to make it clear because I’m going to mention issues that come up in the LTR/marriage in this post.

I’m of the opinion that guys need to stop worrying so much about “how do I make her cum” and “why doesn’t she ever initiate sex”. For one, you shouldn’t have any problem initiating sex – it’s your biological prerogative. Get with that. Second, if she doesn’t know how to cum, she’s not going to trust you to teach her; she needs to learn herself.

Hopefully she has a healthy masturbatory habit because, unlike with guys who masturbate so much it drains their desire to even approach girls, the more your girl knows herself, the better she’ll be with telling you how to make her feel good in bed. So let’s stop worrying about it. Get yours. Ravage that body, change positions, make noises, and don’t let go until you’re done.

And don’t apologize for an impromptu quickie – sometimes your going to have a short session. There’s always next time.

I’m mentioning all of this, perhaps as a letter to myself. These were things that bothered me years ago when I lacked confidence and wouldn’t enjoy sex because I was worried about her experience while we banged. I would ask her afterwards if she even liked it. I would wonder if she was annoyed that I wanted to have sex. I won’t get into that mind frame anymore. If I’m confident from the get go (barring health issues or the appropriateness of it in the first place) and go for it, we’re going to bang. This is how it should have been years ago.

Sexless Marriage In the Courtroom

News out of New Delhi that upholds the right to use denial of sex, or a sexless marriage as grounds for divorce.

Lucky for us Americans we have the no fault divorce; get married, get a divorce tens of hours later.

Back to the issue of a sexless marriage, I would have nothing to hold back in offering support to a married friend if he started complaining of the lack of sex in his marriage. First I would make sure he’s aware of the bigger picture that may have put him in the situation to begin with:

-a brief overview of a red-pill worldview and what a situation he’s put himself into and how to proceed from there as a person tied down to marriage.

-weight gain/sex rank loss

-loss of Alpha frame, even if it was subconscious for him to begin with, it would be important to point those personality traits out to him of what he had before he

-overuse of Beta traits to the point of turning off his wife

-possibly not actually being a very good guy to begin with

(Athol does a fine job of breaking all of these points down for more poon so I’ll leave it short)

These points get tossed around plenty on the more tamer manosphere blogs that focus more on long term relationship saving.

The thing is, I’m not sure how this would translate over into a culture that exists in India.

The article itself is a little humorous to read as it starts to acknowlege some of the absurdities about trying to figure out who is even telling the truth and how one would even rate what is an appropriate amount of sex within a marriage.

The court took cognizance of the wife’s decision to deny sex to the husband, especially on the very first night, and then not to actively participate in it, as an act of cruelty and a blow to the institution of marriage.

Imagine hearing something like this coming from a supreme court judge in the USA?

So we can officially add celibacy to the list of things destroying the institution of marriage; homosexuality and the oncoming wave of zoophiles.

Moving In Before Marriage

A new report from the CDC about marriage doesn’t change much for the numbers of those getting divorced but it does notice that those cohabitating before marriage aren’t as likely to split up as the numbers used to suggest.

In my youth it was pounded pretty hard into me with all of the True-Love-Waits material thrown at a teen in the 90’s that I was to be nice, don’t act interested in sex because it’s offensive to girls, and never move in with a girl before you’re married. I suppose this was all because Jesus said so somewhere but it still stayed as a negative in my mind even as I moved away from my family and one day ended up with a female housemate.

I didn’t think anything of it; she was cool and had a cool house but there were those from my past who I later found out were raising their eyebrows at the thought of good little me living in a house with a girl that I was not married to.

She wasn’t even my girlfriend so I don’t get what the real problem was.

It’s interesting to me that more couples seem to be living together rather than getting married – that is to say they are getting married, just at an older age – as they seem to be coupling together around the same age that a generation before would have except there’s not the same incentive to marry.

Both probably have some sort of job and perhaps an animal they share or someone accidentally got pregnant and now they’re going to try out living together to see if they want to later marry to “make an honest woman” out of her.

With the cultural acceptance of cohabitating I often, very often wonder why anyone gets married anymore other than pressure from the woman to have her fairytale day, culturally irrelevant religious pressure, or the feeling of familiarity. I suppose there are some tax benefits but I’ve never truly ever heard it argued from that point. It’s always “we’re in love and that’s what you do.”

Gentlemen, fall in love, YES, it’s wonderful and exciting but keep your mind in tact. Keep her around and lovely and beautiful as long as you can but don’t let her dictate the relationship by pressuring you into marriage so she can let herself go physically – which is going to happen, science and whatnot.

Here’s some other interesting things from the report

Asian women were the most likely to be in a first marriage that lasted at least 20 years. Nearly 70 percent of Asian women were still in their first marriage, compared to 54 percent of white women, 53 percent of Hispanic women and 37 percent of black women

What causes this? Is it cultural? I actually don’t know enough to know where to start but some believable ideas would be fun to hear.

Among men, 62 percent of Hispanics were still in their first marriage at 20 years, compared to 54 percent of whites and 53 percent of blacks. The study did not have statistics for Asian men.

Hispanics have a leg up in the marriage longevity. Is this due to the general lower sexual appeal of the Hispanic woman in popular culture? Perhaps the trend over the past few decades of the Mexican Muffin Top phenomenon; they don’t have the physical ability to trade up?